The Democratic Party will retake control of the House of Representatives after gaining a net total of 40 seats in the 2018 midterm elections. The Onion examines the items headlining the Democrats’ agenda as they lead the 116th U.S. Congress. Green New Deal: Being pushed by whiny millennial representatives who expect to just be handed a livable planet in the year 2060. Healthcare: Plan to introduce a broadly popular Medicare for all bill to slowly water down into a series of giveaways to big pharma. Trump: Still don’t like the guy! Grandstanding To Go Viral On Social Media: Members will be limited to one impassioned speech with viral video potential per month. Corruption: Committed to looking like they’re tackling political corruption. Criticizing Nancy Pelosi: Expected to be a top priority until approximately 10 years after Pelosi dies. Immigration: Following Senator Chuck Schumer’s lead in demanding that a border wall they regard as useless, unnecessary, and morally bankrupt receives no more than $1.6 billion in funding. Infrastructure: If there’s one thing they can agree with Republicans on, it’s that America’s crumbling bridges and roads are the perfect political bargaining chip. Election Reform: Party leadership is already doggedly working to ensure that the wave of true progressives taking office in January never happens again.